I cannot stop hysterically crying, and I can’t even pinpoint why. It’s loneliness, internet friends are great but they are so far away, regret at spending money I inherited on things I thought I needed (a car, for instance) because savings could come later - only they wouldn’t because the economy crashed & everything when tits up, abject horror at going back to a job that makes me sick, regret at not doing more, making more of opportunities I’ve had, making more opportunities, regret at not being able to get passed all the shit that went down when I was 16, 10 years ago, despair that I actually know exactly what I want to do, where I want to be, what I want from life and will never be able to achieve it because everything costs money unfortunately, frustration at being so utterly disenfranchised, at having been lied to by school, and society and convention and on top of it all I’m pretty sure I’ve pulled my stitches with gut-wrenching sobs.
"Stop trying to “get it together.” The biggest lie we’re told when we’re growing up is that soon as we’re adults, as soon as we’re in college, finish college, get that job, have that steady income, find that someone special, “find ourselves,” find that perfect house, get that retirement fund, have those children, everything will fall into place. Here’s a secret: it won’t. Every new development in your life, good or bad, big or small, will come with its own very special set of challenges. The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be. But the myth is perpetuated throughout life, perhaps now more than ever with happy status updates on Facebook and blushing bride/happy multi-tasking mommy blog posts. What these success stories don’t tell you is what is going on behind closed doors. They don’t tell you that your friend who is so over the moon with her new baby had to apply for food stamps. They don’t tell you that your fantastic, involved professor struggles with depression. They don’t tell you that your happily married friend still has nightmares about her abusive ex. They don’t tell you the cousin who just got that jealousy-inducing job opportunity is thinking of breaking up with his boyfriend of 10 years. What closely interacting with people from all backgrounds on the Internet for over a decade has taught me is that no one “has it together” in the way we think they do. So stop trying to have that as your goal, because you are just setting yourself up for massive failure."
— I wrote
a blog post on how to be happy (oh, the irony. It burns). I do think this is my favorite paragraph. Well, this and the cat pictures, I guess. (via
haguenite)
(Source: thatpassed-away)
I’ve seen this floating around a few places so I figured I might as well chuck it here.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- Elsie
- Els
- Ellie
THREE THNGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- Pounamu necklace
- PJ bottoms
- Top
THREE THINGS YOU WANT VERY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- Sleep that will actually make me feel refreshed
- A full and healthy bank balance
- Tickets to every West End show going in 2012
THREE THINGS YOU DID LAST NIGHT:
- Played netball
- Ate
- Watched Criminal Minds
THREE PEOPLE YOU LAST TALKED TO ON THE PHONE:
- Jen (friend)
- Ian (colleague)
- Hana (housemate)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO DO TOMORROW:
- Go to work
- Panic, stress, freak out
- Listen to the Matilda cast recording
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE DRINKS:
- Water
- Tea
- Coffee
THREE THINGS THAT MADE YOU SMILE TODAY:
- Chilling out watching QI with friends
- Bertie Carvel’s general existence
- My Mum texting me about me never again using David Tennant’s name in the same sentence as Charles Edwards on her phone
ellieptical:
My goals for the weekend are:
- Zumba
- Tidy the house (my room, bathroom, kitchen)
- Watch The Fades
- Watch the current series of Outnumbered
- Get rid of clothing I do not wear
- Watch Holy Flying Circus repeatedly
My goals have changed somewhat due to the sickness of yesterday. My goals are now:
- Clean the washing machine (need bicarb)
- Hoover
- Tidy the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen (still)
- Get rid of the clothing I do not wear
- Nap
- Watch Once Upon a Time and Grimm
- Watch The Fades
- Nap some more
- Watch X-Factor
- Eat
- Sleep
My goals for the weekend are:
- Zumba
- Tidy the house (my room, bathroom, kitchen)
- Watch The Fades
- Watch the current series of Outnumbered
- Get rid of clothing I do not wear
- Watch Holy Flying Circus repeatedly
